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I could see myself in this woman, and imagine that I might be the object of someone’s affection in Hollywood.
Representation matters in the immediate present when you're at an age when pop culture plays such a big part in shaping your self image. Colin Farrell would eventually sue Narain for the release of the tape that I took such solace in.
Angelina Jolie and Colin Farrell first met in 2004, when they co-starred the historical drama film, Alexander.
Their secret fling at the time made headlines several times, but the rumors fizzled out altogether when she confirmed her relationship with Brad Pitt a year later.
There were pictures of Usher’s abs, Derek Jeter’s dimples, and Denzel’s young face behind Malcolm’s horn-rimmed glasses on my wall too.
In fact, out of the many plastered on the walls of my dorm room, Colin Farrell was the first one to demonstrate that he might be physically attracted to someone who looked like me.
Not like me; I was lanky and acne prone, Nicole was curvy, with gorgeous long hair and a clear face.
The idea of a film like "Black Panther" being greenlit by a studio was wild, even with men as fine as Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. I obsessed over Colin Farrell not just because he was handsome and Irish, but because he was both Jesse James and played Bullseye, the single good thing about 2003’s "Daredevil."Nicole Narain was a plot twist I wasn’t expecting and a strange sort of hero to me for months after.
In the privacy of my room, I watched that sex tape with both a clinical eye and an imaginative one, comparing myself to her in an effort to figure out what it took for a black woman to snag herself a Hollywood heartthrob.