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This is why INTPs are particularly prone to relational issues associated with narcissism.
Namely, because of their inferior Fe, INTPs generally feel they need or want to be in a relationship, but once involved in one, they can end up devaluing their partners or convincing themselves they really don’t need the relationship.
This extreme, all-or-nothing approach to relationships reflects INTPs’ Ti-Fe tug-of-war.
In order to find satisfaction in a long-term relationship, INTPs desire a partner who is interesting in regularly joining them in intellectual or philosophical dialogue.
Sure, INFJs are introverts and need time to themselves, but they are not as fiercely independent as INTPs are wont to be.
While INFJs are similar to INTPs in their distaste for small talk (i.e., too much talk about S matters), the fact that their dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), is a Perceiving function makes them less agenda-driven and less concerned with “efficient” use of time (the Enneagram type Five speaks to INTPs’ greediness with time).
While INTPs seek a partner who can help them understand themselves and advance their theories, INFJs want a partner who is capable of understanding and appreciating their most authentic selves (i.e., understanding and appreciating their Ni and its insights).
Nor is it the case that INTPs have trouble “falling in love.” Especially in their youth, INTPs can be easily smitten, especially by EF types. It’s nice when a girl’s attractive but if you can’t talk to her you can only go so far. She has to be comfortable enough to let me have my freedom and she’s got to have her own independent life too. She likes herself and she’s not trying to be anyone else. Where you don’t have to try very hard and the conversation just flows really easily and really naturally.As discussed in my post on INTP relationships, INTPs (especially INTP males) are prone to devaluing their mates if they don’t stimulate the INTP’s mind.Since INTPs consciously care little about SF matters (think of Einstein’s distaste for the “merely personal”), those paired with SF types will often come to question if and why they love them.
Without this key ingredient, INTPs may struggle to find reasons to value or want to spend time with their partners.