Afraid of dating
I’ve been helping women over 40 find passionate, grownup love since I became a first-time bride in 2006.
Here’s why: These women know the reward of having a loving, devoted man in their life.
And I finally admitted to myself that — more than anything else I could imagine — I wanted to love and be loved.
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Women who have been widowed have already been through a terrible emotional ordeal. My private coaching client “Lori,” was in her fifties when her husband died, leaving her to raise her teenage son alone.
As scared as she was to date again after 20 years, she just couldn’t imagine living the rest of her life without what she had with her husband. Lori knew what the rewards of a good relationship felt like, because she experienced it for 20 years.
With him, she felt safe, loved and adored every single day. It took some time but she had no doubt that she would go after love again.
They were physically and emotionally bonded, and the very best of friends. She listened to me carefully about how to date like a grownup.
I taught her how grownup men are different than the boys she dated before she got married. ) I got her online and she dated several nice, but not-for-her, guys. She worries about judging Steve against her husband. But the feelings Lori feels and the rewards of their relationship are familiar in all those meaningful ways. During my 30 years of singledom I never felt loved by a man. ) When dating got really hard, and my fear of dating became stronger than my fear of dying alone, I would retreat and go on dating hiatus. During those times I would just keep repeating my ‘I don’t need no stinkin’ man’ mantra. An accidental brush while walking past a man would seem so extraordinary. I thought I was being strong by choosing to stay single.